


Three Truths

by ravenbringslight



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, Loki's little memory trick, M/M, Sibling Incest, no thanos to be found, the asgardians make it to earth, the way it should be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-18 20:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20318821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenbringslight/pseuds/ravenbringslight
Summary: Thor and Loki have a much-needed talk in a moonlit field in Norway.*“Let us find our own truths, then,” Thor said. “Do you trust me?” He let go of Loki’s hand to hold his arms open in invitation. Loki narrowed his eyes in mild suspicion, but he stepped into Thor’s embrace.“Truth number one,” Thor murmured and felt him tense up, felt the warm puff of Loki’s breath across his sternum. “I won’t hurt you again. Close your eyes. Keep them closed.”Loki did, and Thor jumped.





	Three Truths

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the "At Dawn" zine. I made minor edits before posting here.
> 
> Beta'ed by the ever-wonderful seidrade. ❤️

The Asgardians landed in Norway, in the field where Thor and Loki had watched their father return to the stars. That night, Loki didn’t appear at the bonfires, so Thor went to find him; he knew exactly where he’d be. Making his way through the grass in the moonlit dark, Thor sidestepped the pile of broken uru, purposefully not looking at it, and found Loki sitting on the ground near the rock where they’d said their goodbyes.

Loki’s hair, which that morning had been the long tumble of curls that Thor had just grown accustomed to, was shorn off to the little dip at the base of his skull, the ends curled up gently underneath his ears. The night air was chill but Loki seemed untouched by it, clad only in a light tunic and breeches, his feet bare.

Thor sat down in the grass as well, to Loki’s right. He had no wish to sit on that rock either.

“I miss the sky,” Loki said, not looking at him.

“The sky is right here.”

“I miss _Asgard’s_ sky. Can you believe that we’ll never see it again?”

“Technically it’s all the same sky,” Thor said. “We just look at different parts of it.”

Loki sighed. “You’re an idiot.”

“I’m just trying to make you feel better.”

“I don’t want to feel better.”

They were silent for a moment. Thor breathed deep and felt the ocean far below them. Let the air currents fill him with breath gathered from far away lands; felt the atmosphere vibrating with as much life as the ground they were sitting on. It wasn’t Asgard, but it could be home. Their home. Thor hadn’t dreamed that he and Loki could ever call anything theirs again since he had watched the life fade from his brother’s face in the dirt of Svartalfheim.

“What happened to your hair?” Thor asked finally.

“The wind took it,” Loki said, answering the question that Thor had asked and not the one he had meant. “It’s probably in the ocean, or maybe in a gull’s nest.”

Thor tried again. “Why did you cut it?”

Loki shrugged one shoulder minutely. “It suited me ill and...” He trailed off, then continued softly, “It reminded me of things I’d rather forget.”

Thor ran his own hand up the back of his head and pushed his hair the wrong way before smoothing it back down again. He put his hands in the dirt and leaned back on them. Loki finally looked over at him. There was an odd, sad little half-smile on his face.

“What—” Thor said, but then he realized what Loki was looking at. He looked down and saw his own hair, long and golden, spilling down over his shoulders. An illusion. With Loki’s shorn hair, they both looked the way they had...before. “Loki,” Thor sighed. “The past is done. We have to move on.”

“You look so pretty like that, though,” Loki said. “Fine.”

He waved his hand at Thor, twisted his fingers just so in a gesture Thor had seen a thousand times or more. Thor was paying attention this time, and he felt the warm wash of his brother’s magic across his skin, soft as a whisper.

“Is that better?” Loki asked.

The hair was gone, and instead of an eyepatch there was an enormous butterfly perched on Thor’s face, fanning its wings; atop Thor’s head was a crown of twisted branches and blooming flowers and ripe berries.

Loki’s hair was spangled with stars.

In the past Thor might have asked about the flowers. But he had learned a few things (though maybe not quite enough), and instead he asked, softly, “Why stars?”

Loki turned away from him and stared out past the edge of the cliff to the horizon where the sky met the sea.

“That’s what I see when I close my eyes,” Loki said. “Endless stars. I fell for a very long time.”

He didn’t need to say when. They both knew. Thor’s heart hurt.

“You asked me once if I mourned,” Thor said. “I want you to see.”

He scooted closer and took Loki’s hand. Loki dissolved the illusions and looked at him with a question in his eyes. Thor kissed Loki’s knuckles and then took his palm and put it on his forehead.

“I want you to see,” Thor said again.

At the first touch of his brother’s mind upon his own, grief crashed over Thor like a wave. He relived every minute of it, years’ worth, all in the space of moments—confusion, anger, despair, loneliness. He lost his brother again, and again, and each time it hurt just as badly as it had the first time. He saw the storms that had followed him everywhere for months. The desolate blasted clearings he’d left behind when his heartbroken rage had needed a way out. The people he’d pushed away. The shell of swaggering bravado he’d put up. The guilt. The tears. The pleading with an uncaring universe. The numbness.

Loki wrenched his hand away. He was crying. Tears were running unchecked down Thor’s face as well.

“I never—” Loki choked out. “I never knew you felt so—strongly—”

All Thor could do was smile at him, tight-lipped through the tears. He could have spent the rest of his life telling Loki he loved him and Loki wouldn’t have believed him. But showing him like this, reliving it, letting his brother _feel_ it, even though it meant Thor had to experience the grief all over again—this was a gift he gave happily.

Loki fell apart for a moment before he managed to pull himself back together. Thor watched his brother’s shoulders shake as he remade himself yet again, this time with a new piece of knowledge he hadn’t had before.

“Thank you for showing me,” Loki said finally, his voice still unsteady.

Thor took his hand and squeezed it and Loki squeezed back. They sat side by side with their fingers interlaced. How strange, that after everything that had happened that they were here, now, together. Not fighting. Hearts and purposes aligned. Thor had never loved Loki more than he did at that moment. If he lost him again, he wasn’t sure there would be anything left in this world to keep him from joining Loki’s side in Valhalla. It wouldn’t be a kingly thing to do, or even a brave thing, but Thor was tired and sad and lonely and feeling, for once, extremely selfish.

“Do you know,” Loki said, “I think I died on Svartalfheim? I’m not sure.” The hand that wasn’t holding Thor’s reached up to touch his chest where the blade had run him through. “Or maybe Jotuns go into torpor when near death. But...whatever happened, I didn’t fake it. I want you to know that. I...meant to die. I wasn’t tricking you. I’m not quite that cruel.”

“Oh, Loki,” Thor said, near tears again. “Why did you hide from me afterwards?”

“I wasn’t hiding from you,” Loki said. “I was hiding from _him_.”

“But I could have helped you,” Thor said, pained.

“You would have outed me whether you meant to or not.”

Loki’s words held the sting of truth. 

“Don’t die again. Even if it’s not real. I can’t take it.”

Loki huffed a little laugh. Their hands were squeezed so tightly together. “Now I believe you when you say that. Thor—I’m so sorry...I had no idea...”

“You thought that I didn’t love you? That I wouldn’t miss you?”

Loki closed his eyes. “I didn’t think anyone would miss me. When Father—when I was in prison—you never even came—”

“And I’m sorry for that,” Thor said, ashamed. “I wanted to, but I was afraid of seeing you there. That maybe the brother I loved and remembered didn’t exist any longer. That maybe it would be like losing you all over again.”

“Coward,” Loki said softly.

“Aye. I was.”

The gaze Loki turned on him was appraising, but his eyes were gentle.

“You really are softer now.”

“I'm older, maybe. And sadder.”

“Aren't we all,” Loki murmured, as if to himself, and turned away.

They’d spoken more words of truth this night than they had in decades put together. Maybe this Midgardian field had cast some kind of spell upon them.

Maybe they’d simply lost everything and finally found each other.

Thor looked over at Loki, his profile sharp-edged in the moonlight. Brought Loki’s hand up to his lips to kiss his knuckles again and watched Loki’s eyes fall shut. Noticed the fine tremor that ran through him.

Swiftly, Loki rose to his feet and tugged Thor up after him.

“I want to go down to the water,” Loki said.

They stood together on the edge of the cliff and Loki looked down, frowning.

“We could just jump,” Thor offered, and Loki grimaced.

“Falling is not my preferred mode of transportation.”

“I wish I had Mjolnir,” Thor said, his hand grasping at nothing. He still wasn’t used to it.

“I don’t,” Loki said roughly. “That hammer was a lie. It was only ever Odin’s favor disguised as impartiality.”

Part of Thor itched to turn around and look for her, that sad little mound of twisted metal. Wondered if he’d even be able to lift the pieces. But Loki was right. And Thor wasn’t the God of Hammers, or even the God of Thunder, really. Maybe he could just be Thor for once.

“Hela could lift her,” Thor said. Odin’s favor indeed.

“Hela could lift it,” Loki agreed. “It was only ever a wedge between us. I should crack the very earth underneath it and cover it over so that it can’t harm anyone else. We were fed lies, brother. Both of us.”

“Let us find our own truths, then,” Thor said. “Do you trust me?” He let go of Loki’s hand to hold his arms open in invitation. Loki narrowed his eyes in mild suspicion, but he stepped into Thor’s embrace.

“Truth number one,” Thor murmured and felt him tense up, felt the warm puff of Loki’s breath across his sternum. “I won’t hurt you again. Close your eyes. Keep them closed.”

Loki did, and Thor jumped.

He held Loki tight to his chest. Cradled him. Pressed his face into the crook of his shoulder. They landed in the sand with a small concussion and Loki clung to him. Thor didn’t want to let him go.

They walked hand in hand along the wet sand, Loki with his bare toes and Thor with his worn leather boots. The gentle surf chased their footsteps, occasionally came up to kiss them in greeting. The water reflected the brilliant disk of the moon jaggedly. Thor and Loki were silent.

Letting go of Thor’s hand, Loki waded into the water up to his shins, heedless of his leggings. Thor followed him. It seemed only natural after everything else to slide his arms around Loki’s waist. Loki leaned back into him. Thor kissed his right temple. Loki exhaled.

“Truth number two,” Thor whispered into Loki’s ear, hoping that Loki could hear him over the sound of the water. “My heart is beating wildly right now.”

He felt Loki laugh against his chest, and then Loki lifted his arm up behind him to hug the back of Thor’s head.

“Truth number three,” Loki said, turning his face so that Thor could hear him. “Mine is too.”

Thor kissed his temple again, and his cheek, and then Loki tipped his head and their lips met, soft and sweet. A greeting as gentle as the ocean’s had been. The waves swelled up to their knees, making them sway, and they broke apart smiling. Loki’s eyes reflected the moonlight like two tiny silver flames, drawing Thor inexorably in.

“I’m in love with you,” Thor said.

“Is that truth number four?”

Thor shook his head. “No. It’s just an impartial law of physics. Like gravity.”

Loki hummed and settled back more firmly into Thor’s arms. Thor closed his eye and put his chin on his brother’s shoulder and let his mind roam. He floated along the ocean currents. Soared through the air with the clouds. Burrowed underground with all the dormant seeds waiting to split open and take root.

Yes. This could be home, for now.

Their home.

**Author's Note:**

> visit me at <http://twitter.com/thunderingraven>


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